Sunlight and Dirt was funded by Arts Council for Wales. It draws upon my work from around 1990 to the present. It is constructed as 14 sections of audio-visual materials of 41 minutes duration each. These sections are evolving and musicians have been recruited to record some pieces to contribute to the collages.
A series of performances and installations under the rubric 'The Velvet Lantern' have led towards Sunlight and Dirt. These are detailed via the links above.
GOAT SONG
TRAGEDY
SHE SENT SIX NOTES OF UNIQUE DURATION
LET ME EXPLAIN
SIX BARS OF MONOPHONIC MUSIC
NOTES SELECTED BY SOME METHOD
TOO LONG AGO TO REMEMBER
LET EACH BAR ...
EACH BAR SHALL BE OF SPECIFIC DURATION
TWO BEATS, THREE BEATS, FIVE, SEVEN, ELEVEN, THIRTEEN BEATS
THESE ARE PRIME NUMBERS
A PRIME NUMBER
DIVISIBLE BY NO WHOLE NUMBER OTHER THAN ITSELF OR ONE TO FORM ANOTHER WHOLE NUMBER
LET EACH BAR CONTAIN A SINGLE PITCH
OR, PERHAPS, A SINGLE PITCH ORNAMENTED
LET EACH BAR BE PLACED AT RANDOM IN RELATION TO THE OTHERS
THIS RANDOM ORDER
SELECTED - AT RANDOM - FROM A BOOK
A BOOK OF SEQUENCES
MADE BY MYSELF ON THE FIFTEENTH OF JULY, 1992
THE DATE IS ON THE FRONT PAGE
TODAY IS THE TENTH OF JULY, 2018
MAKING IT ALMOST EXACTLY 26 YEARS AGO
MADE BY HAND
MADE BY TYPING EVERY POSSIBLE SEQUENCE OF THE LETTERS A, B, C, D, E, AND F
THE ACTION OF TYPING BEING MUSICAL
A KEYBOARD SKILL
PIANISTIC
RHYTHMIC
REPETITION WITH VARIATIONS
A B C D E F
B A C D E F
A C B D E F
EVERY POSSIBLE ORDERING OF THOSE LETTERS
F A B E D C
A BOOK
TO BE USED AS A TEMPLATE
A TEMPLATE FOR A WORK MADE ALMOST THIRTY YEARS LATER
WHERE EACH BAR
AND THERE ARE SIX, REMEMBER, FOR EACH SEGMENT LASTING FORTY-ONE SECONDS
OR THEREABOUTS
SIX BARS OF 2, 3, 5, 7, 11 AND 13 BEATS
AT ONE BEAT PER SECOND
ONE PITCH PER BAR
ONE DOMINANT NOTE WITH SUBSIDIARY NOTES
ORNAMENTED
THESE NOTES ARE FROM A SCALE OR MODE
A SELECTION OF PITCHES
ARRIVED AT THROUGH A METHOD I CAN'T RECALL
SPREADING THROUGH A CLARINET'S RANGE
FROM LOW TO HIGH
HER BREATH
SETTING MATTER IN MOTION
VIBRATING THE AIR
RADIATING NOISE INTO THE SPACE AROUND ME
AT SPECIFIC FREQUENCIES
SPECIFIC FREQUENCIES OVERLAID WITH TINY SOUNDS
DROPLETS
THESE SIX HUMBLE PITCHES SPAWN SOMETHING ELABORATE
SOMETHING RICHER
IN THE END
TWENTY-EIGHT UNIQUE COMBINATIONS OF PITCH AND DURATION
A SCORE
EACH PAGE LASTING AROUND FORTY-ONE SECONDS
TWENTY EIGHT PAGES
AND ON EACH PAGE SHALL BE WRITTEN
IN PENCIL AND IN HASTE
THE INSTRUCTIONS FOR PERFORMING TRANSFORMATIONS
MUTILATIONS
SUSPENDING TIME
WORDS LIKE
"PLAY TO THE END OF BAR THREE"
"FREEZE"
"LOOP BARS THREE AND FIVE"
"WITHDRAW TIME-POINT TO THREE THOUSAND MILLISECONDS"
"SLOWLY FADE BAR THREE WHEN SIX IS INAUDIBLE"
AND SO ON
ACROSS TWENTY-EIGHT PAGES
I SEND
I CAST OUT
SIX SOUNDS
NATURAL
A MELODY OF SORTS
BUT A MELODY TRAPPED IN MID FLIGHT
LIKE A FROZEN ECHO
GRAINS OF TIME SUSPENDED IN A VALLEY
SINGING THE TRAGIC SONG
THE GOAT SONG
THE FORWARD MOTION OF MY SONG ECHOED BACK
FROZEN HIGH ABOVE THE VALLEY
LOCKED AND SUSPENDED
THE MELODY FROZEN
THE SOUND, THE SPECTRUM, CHOKED
HOWEVER
ALL OF THIS POETRY IS A MASK
JUSTIFICATION FOR A METHOD
A METHOD AT ONCE EFFECTIVE AND EXPEDIENT
THAT CREATED MUCH MATERIAL
MUSIC OF UNCERTAIN BEAUTY
MOVING STEALTHILY BETWEEN DISSONANCE AND CONSONANCE
AS MUSIC DOES
A SORDID POLYPHONY
BUT THESE DURATIONS
THESE TWENTY-EIGHT UNIQUE CONFIGURATIONS
DERIVED FROM THE PRIME NUMBER SERIES
DIFFERENT DURATIONS
CAN EXPAND
FROM SECONDS TO MINUTES
LET'S MAKE IT EASY
FROM FORTY-ONE SECONDS TO AS MANY MINUTES
FOURTEEN PAGES (NOT TWENTY-EIGHT AS YOU'D EXPECT)
HALF THE NUMBER, FOR SOME REASON
FOR REASONS OF MANAGEABILITY, PERHAPS?
OF SCALE
AND THESE CONFIGURATIONS OF BAR LENGTH
SCALED UP TO A LARGER DURATION
SIX-TIMES-FOURTEEN SECTIONS AS CONTAINERS
FOR THE FOURTEEN SELF-PORTRAITS
CONTAINERS FOR MY WORK SPANNING OVER THIRTY YEARS
THIRTY YEARS AGO
ALMOST
THE CREATION OF A BOOK OF UNIQUE CONFIGURATIONS OF THE ALPHABET FROM A TO F
A BOOK THAT MADE SO MUCH POSSIBLE
THAT GAVE STRUCTURE
A SCAFFOLD
ON WHICH TO PLACE THE WORK
NUMBERS AGAIN
ALWAYS NUMBERS
THIS TIME A SINGLE NUMBER
THREE
A NUMBER AT ONCE PRACTICAL AND MYSTICAL
A MAGIC NUMBER
THE TRINITY
THE TRICOLOUR
THE SMALLEST CROWD
THREE HOURS THREE TIMES
THREE SOUND WORLDS
THREE SHADES OF THREE COLOURS
THREE MODALITIES: SOUND, VISION, WORD
EACH HOUR DIVIDED INTO THREE PERIODS OF ACTIVITY
THE TRICOLOUR
THREE STRIPES OF SLOWLY CHANGING COLOURS
LAND, SEA AND AIR
A FLAG THAT DEFIES DEFINITION
AN ELUSIVE FLAG
A FLAG OF AN UNKNOWN COUNTRY
I WAS THOROUGH
EACH FRAME
EACH TINY PAGE
STRUNG TOGETHER
A FLICKERBOOK
THERE WERE TWENTY-FOUR FOR EACH SECOND
ANOTHER NUMBER – ONE OVER TWENTY-FOUR
THAT'S APPROXIMATELY ONE IMAGE EVERY 0.04 SECONDS
PERSISTENCE OF VISION MAKES US SEE DISCRETE PICTURES AS CONTINUOUS MOTION
WHEN THEY ARE STRUNG TOGETHER THAT FAST
A STRING OF PEARLS
BUT THESE SHORT MOMENTS OF TRUTH
CAN BE FALSE
CAN BE FILLED
IN THE INTERVALS
WITH MOMENTS OF FICTION
VISUAL FICTION
AND THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT I DID
I FILLED THE GAPS WITH FICTION
INTERPOLATIONS BETWEEN SUCCESSIVE FRAMES
SO THAT A FILMED MOMENT LASTING AROUND TWO SECONDS
WAS PROLONGED TO SIX MINUTES AND FORTY SECONDS
THIS SINGLE GESTURE
A WOMAN TURNING HER BACK ON US
A CHOREOGRAPHY OF LIGHT AND SHADE
SWINGING ENDLESSLY
LIKE A PENDULUM
BUT WITHOUT REGULARITY
A BROKEN CLOCK
AS A CHILD
TRYING TO SLEEP IN AN UNFAMILIAR BED
SUNSET
HORIZON
HORIZON MARKED WITH SILHOUETTES
ROADWORKING MACHINERY
GHOSTS OF MEN WORKING ON A ROAD THAT STRETCHED ALONG THE HORIZON
ALONG A RIDGE
A SCENE AT THE FOOT OF MY BED
THROUGH A WINDOW
A CINEMA SCREEN
MASKING THE LAWN BENEATH ME
THE SKY ABOVE
GARDENS TO LEFT AND RIGHT
A FIXED VIEWPORT AT THE FOOT OF MY BED
A VIEW OF A DEPARTING SUN
ACCOMPANIED BY THE SOUND OF ROADWORKS
MACHINERY CLANKING LONG INTO THAT EVENING IN SURREY
THAT IS WHY I MADE OF LANDSCAPES
OR PROCESSION, MAYBE
AND AT THAT HOUSE IN SURREY
THE SNAKE OF STUFFED CLOTH TERRIFIED ME
AND THE RACK OF PIPES HE'D SMOKE FROM
ORIGINALLY A FLUTE WOULD SOUND THIS OUT
BUT IT BECAME MUSIC FOR AN OBOE
THE FLUTTERINGS OF A CHILD FORMING IN THE MOTHER'S WOMB
A WHISPER AT FIRST
FILLING OUT OVER TIME
BECOMING DEFIANT AND INSISTENT
MY SON
MY DAUGHTER
TODAY, TWENTY-FIVE YEARS LATER
I REVISIT ITS TIME OF GESTATION
I DISSECT IT
EXAMINE ITS PARTS
THOSE PARTS THAT WOULD BE FORMED SLOWLY OVER A WEEKEND
A WEEKEND OF WAITING
BUILDING ITSELF SILENTLY UNTIL SOUNDING OUT
RECONSTITUTED INGREDIENTS IN SEVEN OR EIGHT SECTIONS
A CLOSER EXAMINATION
AND I FEEL NOW THAT WE SHOULD HEAR A FLUTE
I SHALL INTRODUCE A FLUTE
RECORD NOISES OF STREETS, COUNTRY LANES, CAFES, ALLEYWAYS
RECORD SUBWAYS AND RAILWAY STATIONS
SHOPS
DO IT HERE, CARDIFF, AND THERE, SHANGHAI
CHATTER OF MARKETPLACE
ROADWORKS
SCAFFOLD POLES MADE FROM BAMBOO
THE DRUMMING FROM A PROTEST MARCH
OR WERE THEY ENTERTAINERS?
JUST ANOTHER CITY
KEPT AT A DISTANCE BY AN INSCRUTABLE LANGUAGE
FILTER THESE SOUNDS UNTIL THEY RESONATE AT FIXED PITCHES
MOVE INTO AND AWAY FROM THIS SONIC CONSTRICTION
BACK OUT TO THE FLAT, UNDIFFERENTIATED CACOPHONY
THEN RETURN TO THE INSISTENCE OF THE PITCHED NOISE
THE NOISE BECOMES HORIZONTAL LIKE A RHYTHM COLLAPSING
THEN THE VERTICAL RETURNS, ALL FREQUENCIES COMPETING
AND NOW DO IT WITH SPEECH
TURN SPEECH INTO SONG
THAT HAPPENED BRIEFLY IN TRICOLOUR
BUT I SHALL MAKE MORE OF THAT ELSEWHERE
TAKE THE PEOPLE OUT OF THE FRAME
FIND THOSE MOMENTS
WITH OR WITHOUT MOTION
WHERE THE PEOPLE HAVE DEPARTED
OR ARE ABOUT TO ENTER
WHERE THE FRAMED SPACE IS A BEGINNING
WHERE WE CAN PAY ATTENTION TO ITS DETAILS
WHERE IT IS ALL POTENTIAL
WHERE IT IS ALLOWED TO SPEAK WITHOUT THE DISTRACTION OF ACTORS
THESE LARGE, SWEATING UNNATURAL FACES
I PARTICULARLY LIKED MOMENTS OF ENDLESS REPETITION
SWINGING DOOR
A WINDMILL'S SAILS TURNING SPASMODICALLY
MOMENTS THAT FELT MELANCHOLIC
LIKE SPACE TRAPPED WITHIN ITSELF, WAITING FOR AN ACTOR TO FREE IT
BY PENETRATING THE SPACE AND CREATING A TEMPORAL FLOW
A PAPER BAG, FILLED WITH WATER, PUNCTURED BY A FINGER
WHICH DIDN'T HAPPEN, OF COURSE
WE WERE TRAPPED WITHIN 131 SPACES
FREE TO INHABIT THEM WITH OUR OWN STORIES
AND WE CAN BE TRAPPED IN THIS SPACE
A SPACE IN WHICH TO MAKE THE WORK AND ABSORB THE WORK
READ THE POEMS AND THE COMMENTARIES
READ THEM MANY TIMES
OUT LOUD
GET OTHERS TO READ THEM
DIFFERENT REGISTERS
FROM THE MOUTHS OF DIFFERENT PERSONALITIES
NOT TOO MANY
TWO OR THREE OTHERS
TO TAKE ME OUT OF THE PICTURE SOMEWHAT
OR TO ALLOW ME TO INHABIT ANOTHER BODY
TO CREATE A POLYPHONY
MIXED VOICES
MOVING IN AND OUT OF SYNCHRONY
A COMMENTARY
A POEM
REFERRING BACK TO THE WORK
ALWAYS GO BACK TO THE SOURCE
AND, AGAIN, TURN SPEECH INTO SONG
A CATALOGUE OF MY WORK OF SOME THIRTY YEARS
EVERYTHING BROUGHT TO A HEAD
IN FOURTEEN SECTIONS LASTING FORTY-ONE MINUTES EACH
AND EACH SECTION COMPRISING SIX SUB-SECTIONS
OF 2, 3, 5, 7, 11 AND 13 MINUTES
REMEMBER THOSE NUMBERS?
THEY SHAPED THE DURATIONS IN EACH GOAT SONG
ARRANGED AT RANDOM
UNIQUELY
AN ALARM
A COR ANGLAIS TRANSPOSED DOWN TWO OR THREE OCTAVES
ANNOUNCES EACH SECTION
A FOGHORN TO GUIDE THE SHIP TO SAFETY
A LISTENING SCORE
GUIDES YOU
VIRGIL LEADING THE POET DANTE THROUGH HELL, PURGATORY AND PARADISE
AN EXPLANATION AND A PROTECTION
AN AMBITIOUS UNDERTAKING
FOR ANOTHER TIME, PERHAPS
THE STRUCTURING OF THIS AND THE OTHER THIRTEEN PIECES IS BASED ON THE FIRST SIX MEMBERS OF THE PRIME NUMBER SERIES
I'VE EXPLAINED THIS ELSEWHERE
I CONSIDER THEM TO BE USEFUL NUMBERS
MAGICAL, PERHAPS
I APPLY THEM TO TINY, SMALL AND LARGE TIME-SCALES
THEY DETERMINE PATTERNS OF ECHO
PATTERNS OF DELAY
PHRASES
SUB-SECTIONS
THESE ARE TEMPORAL APPLICATIONS
HORIZONTAL
IN A METAPHORICAL SENSE
THESE VALUES
EXPRESSED AS THE SMALLEST UNITS OF TIME
RESULT IN A PATTERN OF REVERBERATION
IMAGINARY SPACE
AT A SLOWER RATE THESE NUMBERS CREATE TEXTURE
SLOWER STILL PRODUCES RHYTHM
AND, OF COURSE, THERE IS A CONTINUUM THAT FLOWS BETWEEN THESE STATES
BUT AT THE SMALLEST TEMPORAL INTERVALS
THEY INFLUENCE THE VERTICAL
PITCH AND HARMONY
THE SPECTRUM
HERE TIME BECOMES SPACE
ACOUSTIC SPACE
WHEN A WORK IS FORMING, IT DOES SO HEURISTICALLY
IT IS AN ACT OF RESEARCH
A SEARCH
APPROACHED SPASMODICALLY
SOMETIMES TENTATIVELY
SOMETIMES WITH URGENCY, AS IF TO GRASP THE IDEA BEFORE IT FLEES
SOMETIMES IT IS APPROACHED MUNDANELY LIKE A ROUTINE IN A FACTORY
AND BUILDING THE ROUTINES, THE INSTRUCTIONS THAT GUIDE THE NOISE THROUGH THE MACHINE
IS THE SAME AS WRITING A SCORE
IT IS COMPOSING
AND THERE'S NO END TO IT
WE FIND BEAUTY IN THE UNINTENDED THINGS
THE CORNERS, THE JUNK, THE FLAKING PAINT, THE STAINS ON SUN-BLEACHED FABRICS
WE RESIST A FORMALITY THAT SHOWS THINGS IN THEIR BEST LIGHT, UNCONTAMINATED
WE CONTAMINATE AND EXPOSE THE HIDDEN, DIRTY CORNERS
THE OCEANS OF PAPER, PLASTIC AND METAL DEPOSITED AS WAYMARKERS ALONG THE TEDIOUS COUNTRY LANES
BLOWN INTO THE URINE-WASHED BACK ALLEYS
WE STUMBLE ACROSS THE ACCUMULATED WASTE
WE PHOTOGRAPH IT
WE HEAR THE CACOPHONY AND RECORD IT
HEARING STORIES EMERGING FROM THE CHAOS OF UNDIFFERENTIATED NOISE
WE READ THE INDELIBLE SCRAWLS IN CAR PARK STAIRWELLS
THE LUMINOUS SURFACES COLLIDE AND POLLUTE EACH OTHER
AND WE LOVE THIS
WE LOVE IT
WE FROLIC IN PASTURES OF DETRITUS
IT'S AMAZING HOW, SEEN THROUGH THE CORRECT LENS, THE UGLIEST OF THINGS BECOMES BEAUTIFUL
REFOCUSING IMAGES THAT WERE HITHERTO HIDEOUS, BLURRED IMPRESSIONS
ART IS THAT LENS
I USED TO THINK THAT THE CUT, BEING CINEMA'S EXCLUSIVE PROPERTY
ITS DARK MAGIC
A SPATIAL RUPTURE OFFENDING NATURE
WAS ITS PROUDEST ACHIEVEMENT
WHEN EDWIN PORTER DECIDED TO SAVE MONEY BY FILMING ACTORS SEPARATELY
BRINGING THEM FACE-TO-FACE ACROSS A GULF OF SPACE AND TIME
A GRAMMAR WAS BORN
YET CINEMA IS AT GREAT PAINS TO HIDE THIS BRUTAL ACT
THE RENDING OF NATURE
USING A VARIETY OF MEANS – NOT LEAST SOUND – TO PAPER OVER THE CRACKS
IS CINEMA SO ASHAMED OF ITS BLACK SHEEP THAT IT PAINTS THEM SO WHITE?
YET THE CUT IS THE ONE TECHNIQUE THAT GIVES CINEMA ITS UNIQUE VOICE
THROUGH THE CUT WE ARE KEPT AWAKE
LEAVING US TIRED AND IRRITABLE
I COMPOSE
I PUT THINGS TOGETHER
I ENGENDER FORMS THROUGH A SYSTEM
DIFFERENT ON EACH OCCASION
THE SYSTEM IS PART PRISON, PART PLAYGROUND
THE RULES ARE MADE TO BE FOLLOWED AND BROKEN, RECKLESSLY AT TIMES
BUT ONCE BROKEN THEY COME BACK AS DIFFERENT RULES
THE RULES THAT THREATEN TO EXPOSE MY LACK OF BREEDING
A LACK OF TRAINING AND DISCIPLINE
BUT I USE THEM ALL THE SAME
AND I BREAK THEM
SOMETIMES I FEEL TRAPPED BY THE RULES I SET FOR MYSELF
I SOMETIMES REGRET THEM
BUT MORE OFTEN THAN NOT I'LL FOLLOW THEM LIKE A DOG PULLED BY A CHAIN I MYSELF HAD FORGED
BUT THE RULES CAN ALSO HELP ME MAKE THE WORK BADLY
RULES THAT GUIDE ME AWAY FROM GOOD TASTE
FROM BREEDING
AND A BAD WORK IS A STIMULUS, AND A BEGINNING
GOOD WORKS ARE MERELY GOOD, AND ARE ENDINGS
THE ALLURE
A PERNICIOUS SEDUCTION
MY EYE GRIPPED TO THE SCENE
MOVED LIKE A JOYSTICK
THE VOICES AND EXQUISITE SOUNDS
THOSE LARGE, SWEATING, UNNATURAL FACES
THEY CONSPIRE AGAINST ME
PUT ME TO SLEEP
A WAKING SLEEP OR A REAL SLEEP, IT MAKES NO DIFFERENCE
I'M ENCOURAGED TO STOP THINKING
TO GAZE UNCRITICALLY
WE LAUGH WHEN THEY LAUGH
WE STARE DUMBSTRUCK
LIKE CHILDREN AT A PUNCH AND JUDY SHOW
WE HAVE BEEN TAKEN OVER
AND WE THINK IT'S NATURAL
THIS IS AN INTROSPECTIVE WORK
IT LOOKS INTO ITS OWN METHODS OF CONSTRUCTION
ITS OWN CONCERNS AND INTENTIONS
IT LOOKS AT THE CULTURAL PREJUDICES OF ITS CREATOR
HIS BIASES, HIS INTERESTS, TASTES, FAILINGS, STRENGTHS
THEREFORE, IT CAN BE CONSIDERED A SELF-PORTRAIT AND NOTHING MORE
HERE ARE 574 MINUTES THROUGH WHICH THE LISTENER'S, THE VIEWER'S, ATTENTION MUST BE HELD
FOCUSED, MORE OR LESS, ON THE WORK IN FRONT OF YOU
AND AMONGST THAT ARE LONG PERIODS OF RELATIVELY UNCHANGING ACTIVITY
GRINDING
SOUNDS SUSPENDED
A SOPORIFIC DRONING
BUT WE CAN GAZE AT THE SEA, THE SKY, A BROAD EXPANSE OF CONCRETE OR STEEL
INDEFINITELY
NEVERTHELESS
I FEEL COMPELLED TO ASSIST WITH THE TASK OF ATTENDING
I KNOW THAT WORDS ARE THE HAIRS IN THE MUSICAL SOUP
FLIES IN THE OINTMENT
HARD TO IGNORE
THEY SHIFT THE FOCUS
THEY RAISE THEMSELVES ABOVE THE PARAPET
HORRIBLY PREGNANT
SPAWNING A TAPESTRY OF ASSOCIATIONS
FORCING A DIFFERENT LEVEL OF ATTENTIVENESS
NO LONGER ANIMAL, INSTINCTUAL
BUT INTELLECTUAL
LANGUAGE
DIVISIVE
I AM USING WORDS TO HOLD YOU
HOLD YOU CLOSE
WHILE THE SOUND
AND TIME
SLIP PAST YOU
ANOTHER METHOD
THE IMAGES HOLD YOU
ANOTHER TEMPORAL FLOW
CHANGING YOUR PERCEPTION OF TIME PASSING
THE TYRANNY OF THE IMAGE
I CONSIDERED CREATING A LISTENING GUIDE
A SCORE TO HOLD YOU
TO FIX YOUR ATTENTION
TO CHANGE HOW YOU APPREHEND THE WORK
PERHAPS AS YOU HEAR OR READ THESE WORDS
IT IS FROM A GUIDE SUCH AS THAT
FROM A ROOFTOP STRETCHING AWAY FROM WINDOW OF OFFICE ONE AFTERNOON IN AROUND 1998 TO 2000 I HEARD
AND RECORDED
A THUNDERSTORM (THAT WAS ON ONE OCCASION - PROBABLY A SATURDAY OR SUNDAY)
AND THE SOUND OF PROTEST
ALARUM OF HORNS FROM A CONVOY OF LORRIES
I HAVE LOST THIS LATTER RECORDING
I WANT IT BACK BECAUSE IT HAD A MUSICAL QUALITY THAT WAS ROOTED IN NECCESSITY
MUSIC BORNE OUT OF NECESSITY
AS MARTIAL MUSIC IS
GEOMETRY OF PASSIONS
NATURE AND CIVILISATION – DESCENT INTO VIOLENCE AND CHAOS
WHO WOULD HAVE THOUGHT IT?
THAT ONE TINY LEAF COULD CAUSE SO MUCH DESTRUCTION
HONOUR, LOYALTY, REVENGE
SURFEIT OF GOLD
REVENGE MADE VISIBLE THROUGH THE FLAMES
'BRING ME THE HEAD OF ...'
GAWAIN OR THE GREEN KNIGHT
JOHN THE BAPTIST
HOLOFERNES
HAGEN TRONJE
BRING ME GRENDEL'S HEAD AND ARM
THESE MUTILATIONS
THE DARKEST TROPHIES
TROPHIES OF THIS DESCENT INTO VIOLENCE AND DESTRUCTION
TWILIGHT OF GODS
OF MEN
COLD GEOMETRY
ACCENTUATING BLOOD IN THE SNOW
THE SOIL, SOAKED IN BLOOD
IN BLACK AND WHITE SOIL AND BLOOD ARE THE SAME COLOUR
A FILTHY MEMENTO
OF MOTHERLAND
OF LOVE, CRUSHED BY BLIND LOYALTY
THESE STILL AND SILENT IMAGES HELD MY FASCINATION
AND WHEN SEEN IN A BOOK, ENDURE
IN A FILM, THEY PASS AWAY TOO SWIFTLY
THEREFORE FILMS SHOULD BE LIKE BOOKS
PAGES OF BOOKS MAY BE TURNED BACK AS WELL AS FORWARD
THAT IS WHY I MADE THE VELVET LANTERN
LOOPS AND PALINDROMES
RANDOM SELECTIONS
SPACE EXTENDED AND CHANGED DYNAMICALLY
MASKING A BADLY PLANNED PERFORMANCE
A REEL-TO-REEL TAPE MACHINE CAPTURED A SLOW DIMINUENDO
A SLOW FADE
WITH THESE EVOCATIONS: A VIEW FROM THE FIRST FLOOR
THROUGH GAP BETWEEN HOUSES AND OVER SUBURBAN GARDENS
GENTLE HILLS
BLUE IN THE DISTANCE
AND LATER A MELANCHOLY GLOW OF SUNSET
LIKE SULPHUR
I TALK OF THIS ELSEWHERE
ANOTHER PLACE
MESMERISING BANALITY
TEXTURES SIGNIFYING NOTHING
DETAILS, DETAILING THE BEST ON OFFER
BALANCE BETWEEN TWO INSTANCES OF THE BANAL
MERGING TO YIELD UP TWO OR THREE NEW TEXTURES
GROUNDPLAN OF IGNORED AND TRAMMELLED SURFACES
BANALITY AMELIORATED BY THE HYPNOTIC EVOLUTION OF THE IMAGES
PHOTOGRAPHS ARE SOUNDS IN TWO DIMENSIONS
SOUNDS EVOLVE LIKE IMAGES IN MOVIES
A SOUND, WITHOUT FURY, SIGNIFYING NOTHING
THAT WAS ONE INCARNATION OF BLOW UP
ANOTHER WAS A READING OF THE FILM
SCRUTINISING ITS AUDITORY AND VISUAL DETAILS
IN CLOSE UP
BLOWN UP
MAINTAINING CONTINUAL MOTION THROUGH ANTONIONI'S FILM
RELOCATING DIALOGUE
CREATING SHIFTS IN TIME AND SPACE
LIKE THE PROTAGONIST PEERING THROUGH A LENS, THROUGH A WINDOW INTO THE PAST
HEARING THE PAST FROM ANOTHER PLACE
ANTONIONI PROVIDED THE CANVAS AND PAINTS
IT STARTED WITH CARS ON FIRE
IN COMICAL ARRANGEMENTS
BLACK COMEDY
INTERMINABLE TRAFFIC JAM WITH COMEDY SET PIECES
AND THOSE POLITICAL POSTERS: FARMER, MECHANIC, BOURGEOIS, GARBAGE COLLECTORS, RICH KIDS, POET, MESSIAH
VIOLENT INTERRUPTIONS
AT THE EARLIER END OF THE DECADE
SIMILAR RUPTURES AND SIMILAR LONGEURS
SIGNATURE STYLE
CAR WRECKAGE
BRUTALLY TRUNCATED PASSAGES OF MUSIC
AND FAKE BLOOD
ALL YOU NEED IS A GIRL AND A CAR
I PRODUCED A SHORT PIECE - UNTITLED - WITH AGGRESSIVE CUTS BETWEEN TWO SOUND SOURCES
A CINEMATIC APPROACH TO SOUND
PERHAPS I SHALL USE IT HERE
THE POETRY, OF COURSE
ENIGMATIC SIGNALS FROM ACROSS THE RIVER
BLURTED OUT ON A CAR RADIO
THICK WITH THE SMOKE OF FACTORY CHIMNEYS AND OBSCURED BY TREES
IN THE MANNER OF A WARTIME PROPAGANDA BROADCAST
ABANDON HOPE
CROSSING OVER
THE DIRECTION OF TRAVEL DETERMINED BY A FAST MOVING TAPE REEL
UNRAVELLING RELENTLESSLY
SPINNING LIKE THE CAR'S WHEELS
THE PLUCKED STRINGS DENOTE ORPHEUS
CHARMING THE BEASTS
AND LIKE BEASTS, WE FOLLOW HIM THROUGH THE RECTANGLE OF SHADOWS INTO HADES
NEVER LOOKING BACK
BECAUSE IF WE FORGET THE PAST, WE SHALL BE FREE
TO REPEAT IT
AND THOSE SHADOWS
MIRROR OF BURNISHED MERCURY
ARE A POISON KEEPING OUR MINDS ENSLAVED TO A PAST WE MUST REVISIT
TIME WITHOUT NUMBER
THAT BOYISH FACE
WEEPING AND SMILING AGAINST BACKDROP OF CREAMY PLASTER
I SAT IMPASSIVELY THROUGHOUT WHILE MY FRIEND WEPT
SHE, LIKE 'NANA' PLAYED BY ANNA KARINA IN VIVRE SA VIE
A LENS TRAINED ON A DETAIL, ONE DETAIL
THE MARTYR'S FACE
AN ACTOR'S FACE, IN FACT
TREMBLING
FAINTING
CARICATURE OF EMOTIONS
FROM A WOMAN WHOSE PERSONAL PASSION WAS THE MENTAL ILLNESS THAT PLAGUED HER LIFE
THE FILM, FOR ALL ITS AWKWARDNESS
IS A THING ALL OF ITS OWN
UNREPEATABLE
PLACED UPON A PEDESTAL
PRECISELY FOR THE DISTINCTION OF STANDING ALONE
MY PIECE, TRICOLOUR, OF WHICH WE HEAR FRAGMENTS
IS NOT A SOUNDTRACK
THE FILM NEEDS NO SOUNDTRACK
WHAT I MADE WAS A FLAG THAT CHANGED OVER NINE HOURS
AND ALL I COULD DO WITH THE FILM WAS WRITE OUT SEGMENTS OF THE SCRIPT
THERE WAS NO NEED TO SHOW THE FILM
IT HAS ONLY ONE IMAGE THROUGHOUT
AND YOU CAN FIND THAT IN A BOOK
MOVING IMAGES ARE A CHEAP TRICK (SEE ELSEWHERE)
WHEREAS PAINTINGS WILL ALWAYS HOLD THEIR POWER
FILMS DILUTE THEMSELVES BY NOT STAYING STILL FOR A MOMENT
LIKE RESTLESS CHILDREN
EXPLORING BUT NEVER SETTLING DOWN TO ANYTHING
A SOUND AND A FURY
STOLEN FROM A BAR - VOLUME 5 OF WEDEKIND'S COMPLETE WORKS
ERDGEIST
EARTH SPIRIT
PRINTED IN OLD GERMAN SCRIPT
ILLEGIBLE IN TWO WAYS, FOR ME AT LEAST
THE TYPEFACE AND THE LANGUAGE
BUT FROM ITS PAGES
TWO FINE WORKS
A FILM AND AN OPERA CONTAINING A FILM
THE DUST OF THE NINETEENTH CENTURY BLOWN INTO OUR UNBLINKING EYES
OUR EARS UNBLOCKED
MAKING US DESPISE AN ART FORM CONSTRUCTED FROM BASTARDISED MEDIA
INADEQUATE THEATRE – ALMOST PANTOMIME
BAD DANCING
MUSIC NEITHER SERVING - NOR SERVED BY - THE DRAMA
SPECTACLE
REFORGED BY SIEGFRIED'S HAMMER INTO ART
OR NEARLY
BUT CINEMA GOT CLOSER
SO FILM GETS HAMMERED INTO PLACE
FORCED INTO THE CIRCUS DEAD CENTRE
A PALINDROME IN A MENAGERIE OF PERFORMING ANIMALS
DESCENDING INTO POVERTY AND HUNGER
ONLY TO DIE AT THE HANDS OF JACK THE RIPPER
WHO, HIDING A DIRTY KNIFE IN A CARRIER BAG, PUTS AN END TO THE ABSURD SPECTACLE
'WE DON'T NEED A LAMP, THE MOON IS SHINING'
YET WE STILL ADMIRE THE TAWDRY SETS, THE FAT PEOPLE IN GREASEPAINT SINGING BEL CANTO
LIKE CLOWNS IN A CIRCUS
A DISGUSTING PARADE OF MIDDLE-CLASS EXCESS
CLAMBERING THROUGH A JUNKYARD OF BORROWED SENTIMENTS
BORROWED FROM A PEDDLER OF SECOND-HAND LITERARY FILTH
THE HOUSE, RADIATED FROM THIS ROOM
INTO THE ROOFSPACE
OUT OVER SUBURBAN GARDENS
SULPHUROUS LIGHT
A SPACE FOR RECREATION
INCUBATOR FOR EXPERIMENTS IN SOUND AND VISION
A SOCIAL SPACE ALSO
A PIANO
FEELING CLUMSY HANDS COERCE DISCORDANCE FROM ITS INNARDS
BEFORE ITS DEPARTURE TO THE TROPICS
OR SOMEWHERE MORE PROSAIC
THE TAPE LOOPS AND DRIED FLOWERS
THE GRUNDIG OPEN REEL TAPE RECORDER WITH MICROPHONE
DONATED (REST IN PEACE ANDREW MESSAM) AND STOLEN EQUIPMENT
AND SOME PURCHASED
THE HEADPHONES WRAPPED AROUND A CHEAP ACOUSTIC GUITAR
A MAKESHIFT PICKUP
I GAVE HER A BEAR HUG AND SHE FAINTED
SHE, WHOM I'D SKETCHED NAKED IN THE ATTIC
IN HASTE
A FACE COMPOSED OF BREASTS FOR EYES, NAVEL FOR MOUTH
LIKE MAGRITTE
STRUCK HEAD AGAINST DOORFRAME
THE FOUNDATIONSOF THAT EXTRA ROOM
DUG BY HAND
FATHER AND SON
CUTTING THROUGH DENSE GREY CLAY
THE EXTERIOR WALL NOW INSIDE, BRICKWORK WHITENED
THE SMALL BRICKED-UP WINDOW CAVITY, SHELVED, DISPLAYING A GREEN NAUTICAL BEAKER
MISERABLE RED SPOTLIGHT, AND TWO OTHER SPOTLIGHTS
LIGHTING UP EVENINGS OF LISTENING AND PLAYING
AN OPEN-ENDED CUBE SEALED OFF BY GLASS AND FABRIC
THE SPACE SHIFTING BETWEEN BOXED-OFF AND OPEN-ENDED WITH DOUBLE VIEWPORT
A TIME TUNNEL
I PRACTISED DANCING IN THERE
AND SINGING
SURROUNDED BY METAL WINDOW FRAMES AND FIRE-RETARDENT FABRICS IN BROWN, ORANGE AND CREAM
UNCOMFORTABLE 1970s SEATING
PARQUET FLOORING GLUED PERMANENTLY TO CONCRETE
VARNISHED OVER WITH POLYEURETHANE GLOSS
BROWN MIRROR REFLECTING THE SKY THAT SETTLED OVER A GARDEN OF WILLOW, LAVENDER, ROOEBUSCH AND HONEYSUCKLE
A GARDEN VISIBLE THROUGH LARGE SLIDING WINDOWS
CLEAR DOORS INTO WHICH A DOG, A BIRD, MY TODDLER SON WOULD COLLIDE
MY ACTIVITIES ON SHOW THERE, VISIBLE FROM THE OUTSIDE
GALLERY, LABORATORY, A PERFORMANCE SPACE FOR AN AUDIENCE OF ONE NEIGHBOUR
STARING AT ME AND MY FRIENDS DISAPPROVINGLY FROM THE GARDEN
WHITE HAIRED AND GHOSTLIKE AGAINST THE DARKNESS
I MADE A SOUNDTRACK FOR COLERIDGE'S 'RIME'
THIS MAY BE HEARD, IN PART, SOMEWHERE IN THIS PIECE, ALONG WITH OTHER SHORT PIECES FROM CASSETTES
CLUMSILY ASSEMBLED FROM FRAGMENTS OF RADIO, RECORDS, AND RECORDED SOUNDS - A TABLA, A SPINNING TOP, MY VOICE, GUITARS, A FRENCH HORN AND TRUMPET, SAXOPHONE, BASS GUITAR, A HANDMADE HARP WITH A FRETWORKED PEACE SYMBOL FOR A SOUND-HOLE, BROKEN GLASS, STRUCK BOTTLES
A TAPE LOOP OF SOME THIRTY FEET OR SO, PASSED THROUGH TWO TAPE RECORDERS
STRETCHED OUT THROUGH THE LOUNGE, WRAPPED AROUND MICROPHONE STANDS
EARLY ATTEMPTS AT PAINTING
PAINTINGS OF HUMAN REMAINS IN NEOLITHIC BURIAL CHAMBERS AND SCULPTED RELIEF OF THE SAME IN PLASTER, LEFT TO DECAY AMONGST GARDEN FOLIAGE
THE SHEEPS' SKULLS, GATHERED ON A TRIP TO DARMOOR WITH A GIRLFRIEND AND HER BROTHER
A SHEEP'S SKULL AND OTHER BONES ARRANGED ON THE PARQUET WITH CANDLES AND TAROT CARDS
ANIMATED GROTESQUELY
A CARICATURE OF DEMON WORSHIP
CAPTURED IN STOP-MOTION ON CELLULOID
AN 8MM MOVIE CAMERA AND PROJECTOR
SHORT FILMS
SOME NARRATIVE, SOME DOCUMENTARY
SOME FRAMES ARE VISIBLE HERE
THEY HAVE THE STATUS OF FAMILY PHOTOGRAPHS - ALL EAGERNESS AND NO DEEPER THINKING
THE MOVING IMAGE DOES THE THINKING (SEE ELSEWHERE)
THEN VIDEO AND THE PROSPECT OF CHEAPER EXPERIMENTS
BORROWED EQUIPMENT FROM THE DIOCESE OF GLOUCESTER CATHEDRAL
AN IMPOSSIBLY LARGE VIDEO RECORDING PACK WITH A SEPARATE CAMERA
VIDEOING DIRECTLY FROM THE CATHODE RAY TUBE SCREEN
COLOURED NOISE
THE USUAL STUFF
WILD CHOICES AND ACCIDENTS OF CONTENT
ATTEMPTS TO COERCE THEM INTO A FORM
ACHIEVED SOME 30-35 YEARS LATER IN THE WORK YOU ARE WITNESSING HERE
I FEEL AS THOUGH
LIKE PHANTOMS FROM CHILDHOOD
THOSE IMMATURE ACTS WERE STOCKPILED FOR MY MATURITY
WAITING FOR A CONTEXT THAT HAD NOT YET BEEN DISCOVERED
AN UNCERTAIN GROPING FOR A FORM
AND WHERE DID THEY END UP?
HERE IN A RETROSPECTIVE OF SORTS
SELF PORTRAITS
BECAUSE I LOOK IN THE MIRROR AND SEE ONLY MYSELF
STRUGGLING TO FIND THE FORM OF AN ARTIST
A SHAPE OF WHO I AM
I AM A CHILD WATCHING CRICKET WITH HIS FATHER IN THIS ROOM
OR ONE VERY MUCH LIKE IT
ON AN OVERSIZED BLACK AND WHITE TELEVISION
I AM A TEENAGER TRAPPED IN AN ENDLESS CYCLE OF SEASONS FILLED WITH THE SOUNDS OF GENTLE TRAFFIC AND A PURRING LAWNMOVER
I AM A FATHER BRINGING SON AND DAUGHTER INTO THIS OVERSIZED TELEVISION WITH THE DOUBLE SCREEN
FRONT AND BACK
FACING HOUSE INTERIOR AND GARDEN
CHANGED FABRICS, FURNITURE, LIGHTING
EVEN THE VAST WINDOW HAD GONE, REPLACED BY COMMONPLACE FRENCH DOORS FASHIONED FROM PVC AND TOUGHENED GLASS
IN THIS ROOM I HID FROM THE MARRIAGE OF CHARLES AND DIANA
IN THIS ROOM THE 1970S WERE FED TO ME THROUGH TELEVISION AND RADIO
IN THIS ROOM A BROWN, SELF-CONTAINED RECORD PLAYER
UPGRADED TO A COMBINATION OF TURNTABLE, AMPLIFIER AND RADIO
DELIVERING CULTURE STEREOPHONICALLY
THROUGH TWO LOUDSPEAKERS
POSITIONED HIGH UP ON SHELVES IN ADJACENT CORNERS
A ROOM UNENCUMBERED BY BED OR WARDROBE
A WORKSHOP
SOCIAL AND CREATIVE
I AM A VISITOR TO MY PARENTS' HOME
THE ROOM GIVEN A NEW PURPOSE WITH THE ADDITION OF AN ELECTRONIC KEYBOARD
WHERE A PIANO ONCE STOOD BEFORE ITS JOURNEY TO THE TROPICS
AN ELECTRONIC ORGAN HOUSED IN WOOD WITH ROLL TOP LIKE A BUREAU
BOUGHT BY MY MOTHER TO ENTICE, PERHAPS, TWO BROTHERS TO THE PARENTAL HOME MORE OFTEN
A PIANO HAS A COFFIN-LIKE QUALITY
MELANCHOLY AND SILENT
- LE PIANO SOUS LA MER -
BUT NOT THIS ELECTRONIC ORGAN THAT FEELS MORE LIKE A BUREAU WITH ITS ROLLTOP
IN ANOTHER PLACE
DESTRUCTION OF PIANO
IN ANOTHER PLACE
EQUIPING PIANO TO BE HAMMERED ELECTROMECHANICALLY
YOU CAN HEAR THIS HERE (OR ELSEWHERE) IN THIS PIECE
IN THIS ROOM
ONE STACK OF RECORDS EXCHANGED FOR ANOTHER
OFFENSIVE, REBELLIOUS, LIBERATING, FRIGHTENING
A BEGINNING HERALDING THE REPETITION (LOOPS), THE CACOPHANY (RADIO STATIC), THE AGGRESSION (PERCUSSION)
OUTSIDE
A COUNTRY FIGHTING ITSELF
INSIDE
BLACKOUTS LONG AGO, POWER CUTS LATER
EATING IN CANDLELIGHT
PHOTOGRAPH OF CONFRONTATION
ANGRY BLACK YOUTH FACING POLICE OFFICER
THE SPACE BETWEEN THEM REDUCED
TO INCREASE THE APPEARANCE OF AGGRESSION
ANGRY FACE MOVED CLOSER TO IMPASSIVE POLICEMAN'S FACE UNDER VISOR OF HELMET
ENGINEERED HATRED TO FUEL HATRED
SAME STORY TODAY
DON'T LET TRUTH GET IN THE WAY OF A GOOD STORY
OF PROPAGANDA
A WAR FOUGHT AND WON SO THAT YOU AND I ARE FREE TO DO AS WE WISH
MORE OR LESS
A YUKKA PLANT WITH DUSTY, WAXY LEAVES AND WAXED STUMP
AN AFRICAN MASK OR, AT LEAST, A SIMULATION OF ONE
A RAINSTICK
THE WALLS WERE ALWAYS WHITE
ALLOWING THE OBJECTS AND SOUNDS TO FLOAT AS UNCOMPLICATED EPHEMERA
ANYTHING LOOKS GOOD AGAINST WHITE
A VASE SET ON A LONG SHELF BEARING A HANDFUL OF NEGLECTED FLOWERS LEFT TO PERISH ABOVE A RADIATOR
IN SUMMER, SLIDING DOORS LETTING AIR FLOW INTO THE HOUSE, GENTLY BILLOWING NET CURTAINS
GENTLY ANIMATING THE MELANCHOLY HOLIDAY AFTERNOONS
ALONE WITH FAILED ATTEMPTS AT STUDY
NOVELS BARELY BEGUN
POETRY MISUNDERSTOOD
BLACK BOXED RECORDINGS OF SHAKESPEARE'S TRAGEDIES
THE ROOM WHERE I STARTED READING ULYSSES
CONTINUED FOR ABOUT A YEAR IN VARIOUS PLACES INCLUDING A HOLIDAY IN BRITTANY
A NOVEL THAT TOOK WHAT SEEMED AS LONG TO READ AS TO BE WRITTEN
A NOVEL THAT CONNECTS WITH THIS WORK
AUTOBIOGRAPHICAL
FICTIONAL
MYTHOLOGICAL
HISTORICAL
TANGENTIAL
EPISODIC
WITH FORMAL AND STYLISTIC VARIATION
BUT STRUCTURED SCIENTIFICALLY
A COLLAGE
I LIKE TO BELIEVE THAT A STRUCTURE - A SCAFFOLD - HELPS ME TO PROGRESS THE WORK
I TALK ELSEWHERE ABOUT THE STRUCTURE OF THIS WORK
AND STRUCTURE HELPS
AND GAIL, WHO DROVE ME MAD WITH HER INSANE LAUGHTER AND CHATTER
KEEPING ME AT BAY
WHO SANG 'JE T'AIME' TO ME REPEATEDLY ALONG WITH SOME KIND OF MIME OR DANCE
IN HER HOUSE IN THE DAYLIGHT
AND WE WENT TO THE CINEMA WHERE I KISSED HER COLD WET MOUTH
AND WE KISSED IN MY GARDEN IN THE EVENING
WITH THE LAVENDER NEARBY
I THINK WE WERE LYING ON THE LAWN
AND THERE WAS A GATHERING OF FRIENDS TO VIEW MY SHORT FILM WITH THE SOUND COLLAGE
HOW AWKWARD THAT FELT
FAINT PRAISE AND EMBARRASSMENT
A LESSON IN DEVELOPING A DISREGARD FOR OPINION
SOME CONTEMPT
CREATE A SHELL
TO MAKE THE THING AND TO HELL WITH WHAT PEOPLE THINK
FIND AN IVORY TOWER TO WORK IN
LEARN NOT TO CARE
BECAUSE AN IVORY TOWER GIVES YOU THE BEST VIEW
AND WHILE THE FIRM CLAY WAS CARVED OUT AND BARROWLOADS OF EARTH EMPTIED INTO SKIPS, COLD DRINKS AND SANDWICHES ARRIVED AT INTERVALS
CHEESE AND SALAD CREAM SANDWICHES
ORANGE SQUASH IN ELEGANT TINTED GLASS BEAKERS
BROUGHT OUT TO US BY MY MOTHER
ALTHOUGH I WONDER HOW MUCH OF THIS LABOUR I ACTUALLY UNDERTOOK
THERE IS A PHOTOGRAPH SOMEWHERE
I WOULD HAVE HAD OTHER THINGS TO OCCUPY MY TIME WHILE MY FATHER TOUGHENED HIS SKIN IN THE SUN AS HE DUG THE TRENCHES
HE WANTED TO TOUGHEN ME UP
BUT ONE DAY I WOULD HANG RESONANT METAL OBJECTS FROM A FRAME AND STRIKE THEM AMATEURISHLY
RECORDING THEM AND LOOPING SEGMENTS OF THE TAPE TO CREATE RHYTHMS
AND SMOKING CIGARETTES FOLLOWED, THE DOOR SLID OPEN TO FRESHEN THE AIR
AND MY NEIGHBOUR SCOWLING IN DISAPPROVAL
AND WE WOULD POSE ON THE ROOF WITH GUITARS FOR PUBLICITY PHOTOGRAPHS
FILMS PROJECTED AT GIGS WITH A SOUNDTRACK COLLAGED FROM A PORNOGRAPHIC RECORDING
A FLEXIDISC
DISAPPROVAL AND SOME ANGER - FEIGNED OR OTHERWISE - FROM REGULARS OF THE BRISTOL HOTEL
THE URGE TO POSE EMPTY PROVOCATIONS
A CHALLENGE
A GAUNTLET THROWN DOWN
A WAR FOUGHT AND WON
SO THAT WE WERE NOW FREE TO PROVOKE
WHEN THE MEDIA WARNED US OF THE NUCLEAR THREAT
WHEN INSTRUCTIONS WERE DISTRIBUTED TO OUR HOMES OUTLINING THE ACTIONS TO TAKE
IT FEELS THAT THESE PROVOCATIONS ARE SEASONAL
ONCE EVERY THIRTY YEARS OR SO
THEY KEEP US IN CHECK
HOW THOSE PROVOCATIONS INTRUDE UPON US
NAGGING DOUBTS AND WORRIES
BUT WE ARE OTHERWISE FREE
THE STRIKES AND SEVERE WEATHER WARNINGS
MAINTAIN THE DIVISIONS
THE ANXIETIES
THIS ROOM OFFERED PROTECTION
LIKE AN AIR-RAID SHELTER
AS WE SAT LISTENING TO THE DISTANT SOUND OF AIRCRAFT ATTACKING BRITAIN
IN A MANNER OF SPEAKING
FORMICA
SNOW-WHITE AND HARD
HELD UP BY BROWN ENAMELLED METAL LEGS
A SNOW-COVERED BATTLEGROUND FOR PLASTIC TROOPS
REPLACED IN LATER YEARS BY CANE AND RATTAN TOPPED WITH GLASS
ALWAYS THE URGE TO BRING THINGS UP-TO-DATE, DESPITE THE LACK OF TASTE
THE PINKISH INDIAN-STYLE RUG
MORE HAZARD THAN ORNAMENT ON THIS VARNISHED PARQUET FLOOR
WHAT GOES INTO BUILDING A SPACE LIKE THIS?
IT FILLS A GAP IN A HOUSE
DISTURBS THE PROPORTIONS
THE ARCHITECT'S BIGGEST ENEMY IS THE OTHER ARCHITECT
PERHAPS THIS SHOULD BE AN IMMERSIVE LISTENING SPACE
INVISIBLY INVADED FROM FOUR POINTS BY SOUND
THE SOUND OF AIRCRAFT ATTACKING BRITAIN
LIGHTS CONTROLLED IN SYMPATHY WITH TIME AND NOISE
OVER THE NINE HOUR STRETCH, THE LIGHT CHANGES
OR IN SYMPATHY WITH THE PROJECTIONS
BUT THE ORIGINAL ROOM WAS A GAP
A NEGATIVE SPACE
A VOID BETWEEN TWO ADJACENT WALLS AND A FENCE AND GARDEN
LITTLE MORE THAN A ROOF
BUT SEALED OFF BY GLASS
IN FACT, THE HOUSE BECAME EXPOSED FURTHER BY THE ADDITION OF THIS ROOM
A COVERED TERRACE FOR A COLD CLIMATE
AND MY MOTHER SAT IDLY IN THE CAR AT THE FRONT OF THE HOUSE
PARKED ON THE GRAVEL DRIVEWAY
BARELY REGISTERING ME
I WAS A STRANGER
JUST LIKE EVERYONE
AND SHE WAS A STRANGER TO ME
THOSE UNCOMFORTABLE VISITS
WILLING THEM TO END
WATCHING MY FATHER GRAPPLE WITH HIS FEELINGS OF LOVE AND DUTY, AFFECTION AND ANGER
SHE, SAT CHILDLIKE IN THE STATIONARY CAR
HE AND I KEEPING WATCH
MOVING LISTLESSLY BETWEEN CUPS OF TEA, LOUD LAUGHTER AND SANDWICHES
ALWAYS EATING OR DRINKING
SHE, SAT WITH EVIDENT CONTENTMENT, PULLING AT BITS OF PAPER, RIFLING THROUGH HER PURSE AND EXAMINING RECEIPTS, PHOTOGRAPHS AND TISSUES FOR EVIDENCE OF A LIFE
WHAT RECOLLECTIONS DID SHE HAVE IN THOSE LAST YEARS?
THE LONG TAPE LOOP
PICKING UP SOUNDS AND REPEATING THEM SOME SECONDS LATER
SOUNDS REPEATED THIRTY-FIVE YEARS LATER
SOME I REMEMBER ANYWAY
BUT IT'S GOOD TO HEAR THEM AGAIN
AND AGAIN
AND THE PHOTOGRAPHS
THEY NAIL YOU INTO PLACE
CROSS SECTIONS OF A LIFE CARVED BY A DIRTY SCALPEL
BRUTAL REMINDERS OF ENCROACHING DEATH
KEPT CRUELLY ALIVE BY A LEGAL SYSTEM BUILT UPON SUPERSTITION
SO THE LONG TAPE LOOP RETURNS AND BREAKS
BACK TO INFANCY FOR A BRIEF MOMENT
THEN IT'S OVER
SO, MAKE SOMETHING
A LEGACY
BUT LEAVE IT IN A TIDY STATE
DON'T LEAVE A HEADACHE FOR OTHERS
PHOTOGRAPH IT, THEN THROW IT AWAY
THEN DESTROY THE PHOTOGRAPH
AND NOW I WONDER IF THE TAPES STILL EXIST SOMEWHERE
THE TAPE LOOPS RECORDED IN THIS ROOM
ELECTROMAGNETIC GHOSTS FROM 1980
A KIRLIAN PHONOGRAPH
RADIATED NOISE FROM THE HEAVENS INSCRIBED ONTO PLASTIC AND FERROUS MATTER
PLAYED OVER AND OVER
PLAYED BACKWARDS
BUT SOME SOUNDS ARE PALINDROMES
WHITE NOISE
AND OTHER COLOURS OF NOISE
BUT ALMOST ALL MUSICAL INSTRUMENTS HAVE A FORWARD TRAJECTORY THROUGH TIME
THEY MUST BE EXECUTED BY MECHANICAL ACTIONS
PLUCKING, STRIKING, SCRAPING, BLOWING
AND THESE ACTIONS HAVE A BEGINNING
THEY START A VIBRATION THAT CAN'T GO BACK
IN THOSE LAST DAYS
BOTH MOTHER'S AND FATHER'S
EMACIATED AND SLACK-JAWED
A HOWL OF PAIN WHEN POSITION ADJUSTED IN BED
THE FLICKER OF A SMILE ON HER FACE WHEN I HELD HER HAND AND SAID GOODBYE (MY FATHER WITHDREW HIS)
AND NO, I DID NOT WANT TO SEE HER IN THE COFFIN
THAT WASN'T HER
THAT WAS A PAINTED VERSION OF A STRANGER
THE REAL PERSON LIVES ON IN OBJECTS AND PHOTOGRAPHS
I READ BARTHES' 'CAMERA LUCIDA'
THIS SUBURBAN EXPERIENCE OF BIRDS, GENTLE TRAFFIC, BLUE SKIES, SOUND OF SCHOOLS FILLING AND EMPTYING, MARKING THE PASSAGE OF TIME THROUGH DAYS OF ILLNESS, UNCERTAINTY, AND TRUANCY
REMINDING ME OF MY INCAPACITY TO ACT
TO MAKE SOMETHING OF MYSELF
IN A SPACE ECHOING MY MOTHER'S SALESROOM IN THE DEPARTMENT STORE WHERE I WOULD GO TO KILL TIME AFTER SCHOOL
DOUBLE GLAZED BOXES
SLIDING DOORS TO REPLACE THE FRENCH DOORS THAT TERMINATED THE LOUNGE
THROUGH WHICH I THREW A PADLOCK, NARROWLY MISSING THE MOTHER OF A FRIEND THAT UPSET ME
THE MELANCHOLY OF AN EMPTY HOUSE IN THE SUBURBS
SUFFOCATED BY THE LIGHT ENFOLDING IT
LIGHT DIFFUSED THROUGH NET CURTAINS, MAKING OUTSIDE FEEL LIKE A MISSED OPPORTUNITY
WHEN I WAS UNCOMFORTABLE IN MY OWN SKIN
WAITING AND ANXIOUS
FEELING UNSETTLED FOR ANOTHER 30 OR MORE YEARS
UNABLE TO TAKE THE PLUNGE
CRIPPLED BY SELF LOATHING, DOUBT AND FEAR
THAT MELANCHOLY, MUTED BY THE SENSE OF RESIDING IN A SAFE PLACE
CLOUDED ME
DAWN CHORUS
TREELOADS OF CHIRPING SPARROWS AGAINST A BACKCLOTH OF DARK SEMI-DETACHED HOMES PEPPERED WITH SQUARES OF ORANGE LIGHT
AND THE SMOOTH PURR OF ISOLATED CARS
PASSING AS IF FROMLOUDSPEAKER TO LOUDSPEAKER
THE CAR PORTS, GARAGES AND GENTRIFIED PORCHES
BODIES MOVING TOO LARGE BEHIND BARE WINDOWS
I WATCHED HER DANCING THERE
AND SHE WATCHED ME WATCHING
A DREAM
DAYLIGHT
IN THE HOUSE
I WAS DRAWN OUT TO THE PAVEMENT BY THE SOUND OF A CHORUS OF ANGELS
THE GHOSTS OF CHILDREN LIFTED ME 20 FEET INTO THE AIR
BROUGHT ME BACK TO EARTH
PERHAPS I HAD ESCAPED DEATH THAT NIGHT
I STOP BREATHING FOR LONG PERIODS WHEN SLEEPING
I HAD IT TESTED AND THE RESULTS SHOWED NOTHING
BUT I KNOW I'M RIGHT
IT LEADS ME TO FATIGUE AND PERHAPS DEATH
MAYBE THAT DREAM WAS ONE SUCH MOMENT
THIS MAY ACCOUNT FOR MY DREAMS OF CLAUSTROPHOBIA
BEING TRAPPED IN THE SCHOOL'S CORRIDOR IN THE RUSH BETWEEN LESSONS (THAT WASN'T A DREAM)
THE RECURRING CHARACTER NAMED FLORENCE
A KIND OF SANTA CLAUS
APPEARING FROM NOWHERE
WHO WAS PROBABLY MY FATHER
I WOULD DREAD FALLING ASLEEP
A DREAM
WOMAN IN ATTIC ROOM NAKED ON BED VAGINA IN PLACE OF NAVEL
A RIBBED TUBE SMOKING
I HAD ANOTHER DREAM OF A MAN WITH HIS HAND CUT OFF
AND THE STUMP LOOKED LIKE SWISS ROLL
THAT DREAM WAS SET IN GLOUCESTER OUTSIDE THE ROW OF SHOPS IN FRONT OF THE BUS STATION
I COULD PINPOINT THE EXACT SPOT
WHERE MARKET PARADE MEETS STATION ROAD
I RECENTLY PHOTOGRAPHED IT
ONE OF MY EARLIEST MEMORIES IS OF WALKING WITH MY MOTHER ALONG NORTHGATE STREET, CROSSING THE OXBODE
A COMPLETE STRANGER ASKED ME WHAT WAS WRONG WITH MY EYE
ANOTHER EARLY MEMORY
LOST IN A DEPARTMENT STORE AND IN PANIC PUNCHED THE STOMACH OF A MAN I THOUGHT TO BE MY FATHER
AND BEING LEFT IN THE CRECHE
ONE CHILD VOMITS
I ATTEMPT TO ESCAPE
A DARK CORRIDOR
RETRIEVED BY ADULTS IN WHITE COATS
THE BEGINNING OF THIS ROOM WAS AN ARCHITECT'S DRAWING
THEN CAME THE DIGGING
THE CONCRETE POURED INTO TRENCHES
BRICKLAYING
GLAZING
ONE LARGE PANE DELIVERED AND BROKEN ACCIDENTALLY AS I CLOSED THE GARAGE DOOR
CONCRETE CANTILEVER
I WAS BETWEEN EIGHT AND THIRTEEN YEARS OLD
PLANNING PERMISSION GRANTED IN 1972
FIVE YEAR WINDOW
THIS IS A JIGSAW PUZZLE WHERE I KNOW MOST OF THE PIECES ARE MISSING
PART STAGE
PART RECORDING STUDIO
PART TELEVISION STUDIO
CONSIDER THE PROSPECT OF MAKING A VIDEO
OF MAKING AN OPERA
OR JUST MAKE RECORDINGS AND BURN THE BUILDING ON SOME WASTEGROUND
ON NOVEMBER 5
LIKE TARKOVSKY
BUT MAKE SURE THIS CAMERA IS WORKING
CONSIDER HOUSING THE ROOM IN AN INCONGRUOUS SPACE
LIKE THE ROOM IS A SPACECRAFT THAT HAS LANDED THERE
IN A STATELY HOME, FOR INSTANCE
OR A THEATRE
CHURCH
ON STILTS, PERHAPS, LIKE IN VENICE, OR THE BURMESE JUNGLE
PERHAPS DESIGN IT TO BE WATERPROOF
BITUMEN-COATED
BLACK BOX
FLOATING
EACH SECTION
RELATE TO 'ULYSSES'
TAKE SOMETHING FROM EACH CHAPTER
"ROUGHLY CORRESPONDS TO THE EPISODES IN JOYCE'S ULYSSES"
AND 'WANDERING ROCKS'
WHERE THE SAME EVENT IS SEEN FROM DIFFERENT VIEWPOINTS
24 TO 18 TO 14 - GET IT DOWN TO ONE EVENTUALLY
CONNECTION: TAKE THE ROOM TO DIFFERENT LOCATIONS WORK ON AN IMPROVISATION FRAMEWORK WITH DIFFERENT MUSICIANS
THUS THE ROOM SHOULD MOVE AROUND
VISIT CITIES AND FIELDS
GATHERING MUSICIANS LOCALLY
ACCUMULATING SOUNDS
SUNLIGHT AND DIRT
A CUBOID INVADING INCONGRUOUS SPACES
A PASTURE GRAZED BY SHEEP
SET IT ALIGHT WHEN IT'S ALL OVER
I THOUGHT THE PLANS WERE MISSING (THEY ARE NOT MISSING)
MAKE THEM ANEW
A LETTER TO THE CURRENT OWNERS
THEY REMEMBER MY FATHER
THEY ARE VERY COOPERATIVE
WILL SEND PLANS IF FOUND IN THE ATTIC
THIS CHANGES THE RELATIONSHIP
THE RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN THE SPACE AND THE WORK
IS THERE A NEED FOR VERISIMILITUDE?
IS THE DEPTH OF DETAIL IN THE REBUILD SIGNIFICANT?
IT COULD BE A TOTALLY STYLISED ALTERNATIVE OR PERVERSELY DETAILED SIMULACRUM
YOU COULD HAVE BOTH
AN EXTERIOR LIKE A BLACK BLOCK
AN INTERIOR THAT RECREATES THE SOURCE ALMOST EXACTLY
A PIECE OF REALISM WRAPPED IN ABSTRACTION
WHICH REMINDS ME OF SOMETHING
BUT I'M NOT SURE WHAT
BUT THE PLANS HAVE BEEN FOUND
THOSE LARGE SHEETS OF DULL PAPER, FOLDED MAP-LIKE, LOADED WITH HAND DRAWN SPECIFICATIONS
DRAUGHTSMANSHIP
I THINK OF XENAKIS
DRAFTING THE SCORE FOR METASTASIS SECRETLY AT HIS DRAWING BOARD IN LE CORBUSIER'S ATELIER
STEALING MOMENTS TO RAISE THE TOP SHEET AND DRAW HIS CURVES OF GLISSANDOS ONTO GRAPH PAPER
I RELATE TO THAT
STEALING TIME FOR GREATER THINGS
THE THEFT JUSTIFIED
LIKE THE TYPING AND PRINTING OF THE LIST OF PERMUTATIONS OF THE FIRST SIX PRIME NUMBERS (SEE ELSEWHERE)
MY STRUCTURING PRINCIPLE
DRAFTED IN SWANSEA IN 1992
AND USED EVER SINCE
PERHAPS THE 14 SOUNDTRACKS COULD BE OVERLAID
INTERPENETRATING EACH OTHER
PRECOMPOSED LAYERS FOR THE POSSIBILITY OF A LIVE ENSEMBLE
DISTRIBUTED THROUGHOUT THE SPACE
GUIDED BY A CLICK TRACK
THE ROOM AT THE CENTRE
RECEIVING THE SIGNALS FROM THE SPACE WITHOUT
MUSICIANS WALKING PERHAPS
PERHAPS READING THE SCORE FROM THE WALLS
THE OUTER WALLS OF THE SPACE OR THE OUTER WALLS OF THE ROOM
MAYBE SOMEONE IS SINGING INSIDE THE ROOM
THE FINAL LAYER
AN IMPROVISATION FRAMEWORK FOR ANY OF THE SECTIONS
A FRAMEWORK FOR EACH SUBSECTION TO BE ORDERED ACCORDING TO THE SECTION USED
FOR EXAMPLE SECTION B IS ORDERED 11, 13, 3, 2, 7, 5
TAKE EACH 13, FOR EXAMPLE
COLLECT THE RELEVANT PITCH FOR EACH
COMBINE THEM
SEE WHAT EMERGES
IN 'JUSTINE / TRISTAN' THE IMPROVISATIONAL STRATEGY WORKED
NOT THE VOCALS, PERHAPS
AND PERHAPS THE GLISSANDOS WERE NOT SO GOOD
BUT THE FIXED NOTE FIGURES
WITH INDEPENDENT TEMPI
WERE EFFECTIVE FOR THE MOST PART
THIS WORK HERALDED THE STRATEGY I SHALL USE HERE
ADOPTING THE CHORD THAT IS FORMED FROM ALL 14 INSTANCES, BY BAR LENGTH
WHICH IS TO SAY
EACH BAR OF TWO BEATS
AND THERE ARE 14 OF THEM
WILL FORM A CHORD FOR THE TWO MINUTE SEGMENTS OF ANY SECTION
AND SO ON
THIS MUCH IS WRITTEN
BUT THERE WOULD NEED TO BE OTHER CONTROLS
CUE POINTS
TO SYNCHRONISE WITH KEY MOMENTS IN THE SOUNDTRACK
SUDDENLY
PERHAPS EACH PASSAGE COULD BE A DIMINUENDO TO SILENCE
THE ENSEMBLE REFORMED AT THE SYNCHRONISATION POINT
MAYBE THEY PLAY OVER ALTERNATE SECTIONS
OR SELECTED SECTIONS
TO GIVE IT SOME AIR
SO IT'S NOT JUST ABOUT THEM
I LIKE THAT THE WORK HAS THE BURDEN OF THE NOTES THAT WERE ARRIVED AT EARLIER
THEY ARE A CURSE AND A BLESSING
THEY ARE THERE AGAINST MY BETTER JUDGEMENT
BUT THEY ARE DEFINED AND SHOULD BE ACCEPTED
LIKE MEMBERS OF A FAMILY
UNIQUE BUT COMPARABLE
SOME BEARING SIMILARITIES
OTHERS QUITE DIFFERENT
YET EACH CONTRIBUTING TO THE WHOLE
YOU HAVE TO ACCEPT THE BAD WITH THE GOOD
A FAMILY OF FOUR HAS NO BLACK SHEEP
THERE ARE SIMPLY NOT ENOUGH PEOPLE
BUT IT MAY HAVE A PRODIGAL SON
BUT PARENTS DIE
TO CHANGE THE DYNAMIC
TO MAKE ROOM FOR THE OTHERS
THE CHILDREN, THE GRANDCHILDREN, THE BROTHERS AND SISTERS
A DIMINUENDO
LETTING THE OTHERS BE HEARD
THE LIFE OF THE SOUND SLOWLY ABATING AND RETURNING SUBITO ON A POINT OF CHANGE
THE RUPTURE OF BIRTH,THEN A SLOW DIMINUENDO
WE TALK OF MAKING MEMORIES AS IF THEY'RE SOMETHING WE DECIDE UPON
THOSE MEMORIES ARE JUST BRIC-A-BRAC THAT STICKS AROUND WHETHER WE LIKE IT OR NOT
AND MEMORIES ARE ACTUALLY QUITE DELIMITED
FRAMED
ABSTRACTED FROM THE WHOLE
LIKE PHOTOGRAPHS
BLURRED PHOTOGRAPHS PERHAPS
WHERE SOME AREAS ARE IN SHARP FOCUS AND OTHERS HAVE DISSOLVED INTO A MIST
THOSE TRIGGERS, SMELLS, TASTES
THAT UNLOCK A MEMORY OR HOLD IT AT A FRUSTRATING DISTANCE
A FIGURE ON THE TARMACKED ROAD IN THE HEAT
SHIMMERING
FAMILIAR, YET CAN'T BE PLACED
AND THE ALTERNATIVE IMAGES THAT OTHERS PROVIDE
PROJECTING A 'YOU' AT ODDS WITH YOUR EVOLVED IMAGE OF YOURSELF
AND HOW SCALE CHANGES
HOW THIS ROOM, REBUILT TO ORIGINAL SIZE, IS SMALLER THAN I RECALL
SPACES CHANGE SIZE
LIKE THE DISTANCE BETWEEN THE ANGRY YOUTH AND THE POLICE OFFICER
PULLED CLOSER TOGETHER IN A FIERCE CONFRONTATION THAT DIDN'T HAPPEN
NOT LIKE THAT ANYWAY
OUR LIVES ARE REWRITTEN
BY OURSELVES AND BY OTHERS
OUR FROZEN RECOLLECTIONS
EACH A FILM LOOP OF ABOUT 5 TO 10 SECONDS IN LENGTH
AND DESPITE THE ACCRETION OF DIRT AND SCRATCHES
THE FADING OF THE COLOURS
DESPITE ALL THAT
THE IMAGE REMAINS
FADED AND JERKY
STARING BACK AT YOU
THESE LOOPS ARE PLAYED UNTIL THEY BREAK
THEY GET FEWER AND FEWER
UNTIL SOMEONE BURSTS IN WITH A FRESH COPY
THEIR COPY, NOT YOURS
DIFFERENT SCRATCHES
UNFAMILIAR IMPERFECTIONS
AND PERHAPS THEY LOAD THE PROJECTOR UPSIDE DOWN, BACK TO FRONT
MAYBE IT'S A SLIGHTLY DIFFERENT SEGMENT
STARTING EARLIER OR ENDING LATER
THE DIFFERENCES SURPRISE YOU
MAKE YOU DOUBT YOUR MEMORY
SO WE PLACATE EACH OTHER BY HOLDING UP THE MIRROR WITH THE FRAME WE PREFER
AND WHY NOT?
OUR SELVES ARE CHANGING
WE ARE NOT MADE OF THE SAME MATTER WE WERE BORN WITH
WE CAME FROM STARS AND DISPERSE INTO SPACE
OUR SKIN, OUR ORGANS
RADIO STATIC FUZZING THE EDGES OF THE SIGNAL
WE ARE NOT WHO WE THINK WE ARE
AS I STEP OUT ON MY BIRTHDAY
TANGLE OF HAIR AND LIMBS IN MEMORY
SHARP COLD
AND THE NEXT MORNING
MENTAL IMAGES OF MENSTRUAL BLOOD ON SNOW
SHOULD I ASK FRIENDS FOR PHOTOGRAPHS?
THEY WOULD CONSTITUTE AN ALTERNATIVE MEMORY
ONE THAT IS THEIRS AND BARELY MINE
BUT THAT WOULD BROADEN MINE
STOCKPILING FOR THE FUTURE
LIKE A CUPBOARD LOADED WITH TINNED FOODS
THERE JUST IN CASE
BUT THOSE WHITE LIMBS, THAT WEB OF HAIR, FACES SMOOTHED OVER WITH HANDS
IN THE PRESENT, ABSOLUTELY WITHOUT REFLECTION OR PROJECTION
ABSOLUTELY NOW
THIS IS LATER SUPPLANTED BY A CONNECTION
A FULFILMENT OF WHAT DID NOT TAKE PLACE, OR NOT FULLY, IN THE BOMB SHELTER IN 1984 OR THEREABOUTS
THE YEAR, PERHAPS, THAT ORWELL RUINED FOR US
(MY FATHER TURNED OFF THE TELEVISION IN THIS ROOM WHEN THE TORTURE SCENE WAS STARTING IN THE TELEVISION ADAPTATION)
AND WHEN, NOT LONG AFTER, THE GOVERNMENT TOLD US OF DEATH THROUGH UNPROTECTED SEX
THERE, IN THE GLOOM
BODIES TANGLED
HANDS REACHING OUT
ANOTHER STORY
IN THESE GLOOMY TIMES
AS THE WINTER COVERS US
ITS BRITISH COMBINATION OF FOGS, RAIN
THE LEAFLESS BRANCHES SILHOUETTED AGAINST GREY SKIES
OUR DULL AND LIFELESS WINTERS
WHERE BERRIES LIE DOTTED ON BRITTLE SNOW
MENSTRUAL BLOOD
FOOD FOR COLD BIRDS
OUR HANDS CONNECTED ACROSS THE KITCHEN TABLE
PLAYFUL SCRATCHING
LIKE A FIRST LOVE
YOU, THROUGH A HAZE OF ALCOHOL
ME, FAILING TO FIND SOMETHING ON MY PHONE
YOUR HOUSEMATE
IN A CHILDISHLY PINK DRESSING GOWN
STOOD NEARBY PREPARING FOOD
ACROSS ANOTHER KITCHEN TABLE SHE, WITH ABUNDANCE OF CRIMPED HAIR, LAUGHED SPONTANEOUSLY
AND I MUST CONSIDER HOW TO READ THIS COMMENTARY
IN A MONOTONE?
WITH ACCOMPANYING VOICE?
A WOMAN'S
TO DETOXIFY IT
SURPRISINGLY EASY TO POST-SYNCHRONISE
AN UNCOMFORTABLE INTIMACY
BUT NO MATERIAL FOR SONGS
WHAT WILL SHE SING?
THE REDUCTION OF THE 'INFERNO'
PERHAPS
PERHAPS THE SINGING COMES IN A LATER MANIFESTATION OF THE CYCLE
ONCE THE MUSIC HAS BEEN FIXED INTO PLACE
PERHAPS THE INSTALLATION WILL BE DESTROYED AND THE MUSIC REMAINS
THE INSTALLATION IS THE MECHANISM FOR CREATING THE RECORDINGS
AND THIS COMMENTARY
DOES IT HAVE A PLACE IN THE WHOLE?
SHOULD IT BE PARTITIONED OFF AS A PRINTED TEXT, OR THE RECORDINGS PLAYED BETWEEN SECTIONS?
THIS WORK
A SUMMATION
AN EXPANSION
IT PROLIFERATES
AN ACCRETION
BUT THE FRUSTRATING THING IS THAT NOT EVERYTHING WILL MAKE IT INTO THE PIECE
NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTION: LIVE FOREVER OR DIE ABRUPTLY
IN A WORK LIKE THIS PERHAPS
VIKING SHIP BURIAL
EGYPTIAN PYRAMID
THE ROOM AS RECEPTACLE
STORE FOR OUR TEMPORARY SELVES
FOSSILISED REMAINS
BITS OF JUNK IN A BOX
A KITCHEN DRAWER
THE TEMPORARY DISORDER OF THE HOTEL ROOM
TWO FIGURES HUDDLED IN ARTIFICIAL LIGHTS
REFLECTED IN A LARGE MIRROR
PASSIONATE EMBRACE
GLOW OF RED WINE
SWILLED IDLY IN A GLASS BALANCED IN OUTSTRETCHED PALM
IN A LARGE MIRROR THE END OF THE BED VISIBLE
TWO FIGURES AT THE EDGE
ACROSS THE FLOOR, THE JUNK OF TRAVEL
SUITCASE, TOILETRIES, NOVEL, WORN AND UNWORN CLOTHING
I REMEMBER ASCHENBACH (IN THE FILM VERSION OF DEATH IN VENICE)
CAREFULLY LAYING OUT PERSONAL EFFECTS IN THE HOTEL ROOM
THE PHOTOGRAPH OF WIFE AND DAUGHTER
KISSED PIOUSLY BEFORE LEAVING FOR DINNER
NO ROOM FOR SUCH SENTIMENTS HERE
THE TAXI TOOK ME HOME ALONG THE MOTORWAY FROM THE HOTEL ON THE OUTSKIRTS OF CARDIFF
THE TAXI IN SHANGHAI AN ENDLESS JOURNEY THROUGH RAPIDLY BUILT RESIDENTIAL DISTRICTS
NO ROOM FOR SENTIMENT HERE
THE SMALL POCKET OF GENUINE ANTIQUITY
WELL, FROM THE 1800s AT LEAST
WHERE MOPEDS BUZZ AND CARD GAMES ARE WON AND LOST AT THE ROADSIDE
BUT FOR HOW MUCH LONGER?
SURROUNDED BY TOWER BLOCKS
THE LAUNDRY HANGING FROM BALCONIES
THE VEGETABLES PREPARED ON THE PAVEMENTS
LIKE SOME TINY PIECE OF EAST LONDON
HELD BACK FROM THE DEVELOPERS
JEALOUSLY AND PROUDLY GUARDED SPACES
AGAINST A BACKGROUND OF GLASS AND STEEL
THE BAMBOO SCAFFOLDING
A CHEAP AND PLENTIFUL MATERIAL
LIGHT AND STRONG
MAKES A DELICIOUS SOUND
RESONANT YET DEAD SOMEHOW
GENTLE ON THE EAR
A PIECE OF ANTIQUITY
OUR SPACES - SHARED AND PRIVATE SPACES - ARE COMMODITIES BOUGHT AND SOLD
NO LONGER ENJOYED WITH A SENSE OF SHARED OWNERSHIP
HOTEL ROOMS
SHARED ANONYMOUSLY THROUGH A DAILY EXCHANGE OF MONEY FOR UTILITY
THE SHEETS ARE SOILED DAILY
THE CARPET TRODDEN BY A THOUSAND DIRTY SHOES
THIS ROOM
AN AQUARIUM
EXPOSED FRONT AND BACK
I HAD TO CLOSE THE CURTAINS FRONT AND BACK
TO GAIN SOME PRIVACY
SHE FAINTED IN MY ARMS THERE
AN ORANGE TYPEWRITER AT WHICH I WROTE THOSE CLUMSY TALES
A SCENARIO FOR A FILM NEVER MADE
THE LYRICS AND POETRY
SOMETHING SET IN THE DARK AGES IN RESPONSE TO SHAKESPEARE AND THE ICELANDIC SAGAS
A STAG IN THE FOREST
DARK, CLOUDED SKIES
I READ SOME TO HER
OVER THE TELEPHONE
SHE LAUGHED AND SAID I READ BADLY
THE FLAWS MUST BE EMBRACED
MY PHYSICAL FEATURES
THE BAD PAINTING
THE UNSCHOOLED HARMONIES
LACK OF CONFIDENCE MASKED BY BRAVURA
AND A COG MISSING FROM THE MACHINERY OF EMOTION
RESULTING IN CERTAIN RESPONSES BEING TARDY OR ALTOGETHER ABSENT
AT THAT TYPEWRITER I SAT FEEDING ROUGH CREAM PAPER OF UNUSUAL SIZE INTO THE ROLLER
I CAN STILL HEAR IT
AND I WOULD ATTEMPT SHORT STORIES
BUT COMBINED WITH HANDWRITTEN CORRECTIONS OR WHOLE PASSAGES OF MANUSCRIPT
I HAD TERRIBLE HANDWRITING
SO I TAUGHT MYSELF A STYLE IN 2008
FOR 'MARGINALIA'
MODELLED ON THE FRENCH STYLE
JOHN COCTEAU OR GODARD MOST PROBABLY
AND I WROTE OUT A TEXT - REDUCED FROM THE 'INFERNO' - BY HAND IN A SINGLE LINE ACROSS AND THROUGH THE PAGES OF A SKETCHBOOK
SO WHEN I REFLECT ON BEING A BAD WRITER
STYLE, CONTENT, BREADTH OF VOCABULARY
I THINK OF THIS PRESENT TEXT
SHOULD I PUSH IT HARDER?
SHOULD I TOUGHEN IT UP, MAKE IT JEWEL LIKE?
CRYSTAL
SHARPEN, POLISH, REMOVE THE IMPURITIES
THEN I THINK OF SIEGFRIED'S SWORD
DON'T WELD THE FRAGMENTS - GRIND THEM DOWN TO FILINGS, SMELT AND CAST AFRESH
"MAKE IT NEW"
AND THEN I CONSIDER THE JAPANESE METHOD OF REPAIRING CRACKS IN POTTERY WITH GOLD TO MAKE THE FLAWS BEAUTIFUL
THAT'S FAR CLOSER TO MY TEMPERAMENT
MORE HUMANE
SIEGFRIED WAS, AFTER ALL, A FASCIST PROTOTYPE
AND THAT'S HOW THEY DO THINGS
GRIND IT DOWN
EVEN TODAY
FEIGNED NAIVETY
THE PURE FOOL
THE 'NATURAL' AND UNSCHOOLED HEROISM
FIRES AND PURIFICATIONS
WE ARE NOT ALL THAT BAD
WE MOSTLY GET ON TOGETHER
AND WE HAVE THE FLAWS THAT RECEIVE THE GOLD
NOT IRON AND STEEL
GOLD LIKE VEINS OF SUNLIGHT IN CRACKED VESSELS
THE CLUMSY HARMONIES, AND CLUMSY BRUSHSTROKES
SUNLIGHT AND DIRT
THOSE PHOTOGRAPHS AND SLIDES SLOWLY FADING, GATHERING DIRT
LOSING THEIR MEMORIES
BUT STILL RETAINING THE LAST VESTIGES OF RECOGNISABLE FEATURES
THE DIRT: FLAWS INSPIRING ADMIRATION
IT IS, AFTER ALL, SIMPLE CHEMISTRY
IT'S ALL DIRT ACTIVATED BY SUNLIGHT
IN A COAL SHED, NEXT TO THIS ROOM, I WOULD DEVELOP THE PHOTOGRAPHS WITH A RUDIMENTARY SET-UP OF ENLARGER AND TWO TRAYS
THE ODOUR OF DEVELOPER
THE TINY ROOM WAS COLD AND DARK
NO SAFETY LIGHT
GAINING ENOUGH UNDERSTANDING TO REALISE THAT THE FILM BLOW UP (I MADE A WORK BASED ON THIS FILM) WAS FOUNDED ON A MISCONCEPTION (I'VE EXPLAINED THIS ELSEWHERE)
BUT THAT LOVE AFFAIR WITH THE MEDIUM
THE PROCESS
THE PROCESS IS ALLURING IN ITSELF
WHEN I FOUND 'THE SILENCE' BRILLIANT AND THEN 'THROUGH A GLASS DARKLY' AND, OF COURSE, 'WINTER LIGHT'
WHEN THE PECULIAR BRAND OF SELF-LOATHING AND NIHILISM SEEMED TO FIT ME LIKE A GLOVE
WHEN THE SISTERS, ONE IN THE AGONY OF AN UNNAMED DISEASE, ANOTHER CUTTING HER LABIA WITH BROKEN GLASS
WHEN THE HISTRIONICS WERE THRASHED OUT IN 'PERSONA' (BROKEN GLASS AGAIN)
WHEN THE SPIDER GOD PENETRATED HARRIET ANDERSSON
EXPERTLY WRITHING
WHEN, IN 'WINTER LIGHT', THE MERCILESS DISMANTLING OF INGRID THULIN MADE ME FEEL GUILTY FOR SOMETHING I DIDN'T DO
THAT WAS WHEN I IDENTIFIED VERY POWERFULLY WITH BERGMAN'S FROZEN LANDSCAPES
THEN I READ HIS AUTOBIOGRAPHY AND THE SPELL WAS BROKEN
With the support of Arts Council of Wales and The National Lottery.
